


Such Wow. Many Normal. Very Oops.

by Kira_Dattei



Series: The Old Guard Whumptober 2020 [29]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Car Accidents, Developing Friendships, Established Relationship, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, M/M, Post-Canon, Temporary Character Death, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27751759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kira_Dattei/pseuds/Kira_Dattei
Summary: Car accidents are just part of modern life and needing to beat emergency services is a priority to immortals.Prompt: Accidents
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Nile Freeman & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: The Old Guard Whumptober 2020 [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994617
Comments: 2
Kudos: 158





	Such Wow. Many Normal. Very Oops.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a whump writer so I can't promise a huge amount of whump in all of these. I just picked the prompt from each day that actually sparked an idea and ran with it.  
> I'm mostly using these as a way to get a feel for the characters and I simply love the relationships given in canon and wanted to explore them.  
> Joe is the lucky whumpee for most of these because I just love him.
> 
> These are all going to be one-shots and they are as connected as you want them to be so you’re good to just read one and not worry about missing anything.

Nicky glanced over where he’d left his phone on the coffee table as it vibrated and then went back to his book. Andy looked over her shoulder toward him when she realized he wasn’t moving to answer his phone.

“You don’t know enough people to afford ignoring it when someone wants to get in touch with you,” she scolded even if she was only half-serious in doing so.

“I was finishing this chapter,” he countered. “If it were a call, I would have answered it. A text will still be there in a minute when I’m done.”

“And if it were an emergency?”

“Then it would be the first time he didn’t call.”

Joe and Nile had left a few hours ago, deciding to hit up local museums and art galleries because apparently Nile held deep appreciation for art and Joe had gotten practically giddy when he’d realized that it was an interest they shared. Of course Nicky also genuinely appreciated many forms of art but Joe had already had all the discussions about Nicky’s opinions on countless pieces and he was apparently starved for the conversation to happen with someone new. And Booker hadn’t been too interested in art of any kind, basically just knowing enough to get by or filling time.

Nicky hadn’t been expecting them back for another few hours and Joe had already promised to bring back dinner so he’d decided to read the afternoon away.

“Nile texts first,” Andy reminded him,

He’d actually forgotten that little detail and he felt bad for it.

A few months apparently hadn’t been enough for him to really internalize every difference of habit between Nile and the rest of them. Of course they had all texted before she joined them but not nearly as much as she did and they were only just starting to adjust to that being considered a viable manner of communication between them. And right now it was a toss-up if they were trying to convince her to call first for an emergency like they did or get them to text first like she did.

With that in mind, Nicky closed his book and walked over to grab his phone.

It was a text from Nile.

_Nile: Accident on the highway. Need help please._

Nicky frowned and Andy stood up immediately at seeing his expression. His mind raced with the unavoidable thought that this was the day Joe didn’t heal, that he’d gotten hurt and it wasn’t going away. Or worse, that he’d died and hadn’t revived. The panic always came, whether they were together or apart.

“Why’d she text you?” Andy asked almost absently.

“We were texting shortly after they left and she tends to just turn the screen off so it was likely already open,” Nicky replied as he dialed Nile’s number instead of bothering with typing anything back. She answered before it even got through the first ring. “Nile, what happened?” he asked, putting her on speakerphone so Andy could listen in even as they both moved to get their shoes on.

“There was a pretty bad pileup. We’re just about smack dab in the middle.”

“Where’s Joe?” he asked.

“He’s here but he’s pinned bad. I can’t get him out on my own and we might have lucked out being in the middle so that it’ll take time for emergency crews to get around to us but they will eventually and they will likely take note of just how he’s still alive.”

Then he was injured badly enough that he was dying and would continue to do so until he was helped. Nicky hated when one of them was trapped in a situation like that, suffering over and over again until they managed to free themselves or be helped out. And if emergency services reached Joe first, then it would be much more difficult to sneak him out unnoticed.

“How far away are you?” Andy asked as she grabbed the keys and led the way out to the second vehicle they’d gotten in the habit of keeping on hand over the past month.

“Take the scenic route into town and about seven miles from the house you’ll pass close enough to cut through the woods to the highway. Fifteen, twenty minutes. I haven’t even heard any emergency vehicles yet.”

That would give them time to get there but they were still racing the clock on this for ease of getting out quietly and without attracting attention.

Nicky was about to step outside when Andy said, “Grab a blade.”

Nicky paused and then ignored the urge to shudder, knowing that while it was one of the most unpleasant things they might have to do, cutting off a limb to get Joe free was a possibility they needed to be ready for. So, Nicky looked through the bucket next to the door filled with weapons and grabbed a hand axe, figuring it would be the best option.

A short drive and run through the woods and the two of them came within view of the pileup and looked at each other. There were easily over twenty cars involved along with two overturned semis and that was what had likely caused the most damage. They could hear shouting and some cries for help and screams of pain and Nicky had the thought that he hoped people who needed it would be getting help soon.

They reached the shoulder and began walking along the mess, looking for the familiar car Nile and Joe had taken even with visibility not being the best as at least two cars were on fire.

“There,” Nicky announced when he recognized how Joe had helped Nile style her hair just that morning and he took off at a sprint through the wrecked vehicles with Andy following behind. “Nile!” he called out when they were closer and she turned toward them, looking immediately relieved.

Their car was flipped over but at an angle that revealed the passenger side’s roof was more crushed than the driver side.

Nile had patches of blood around the collar of her shirt, on her side, and down her entire right leg.

“You alright?” Andy asked as soon as they reached Nile.

“Yeah, fine. I’ve been able to work some things free from him but Joe’s out right now.”

Nicky walked around to the side of the car and kneeled down to see inside. Nile had apparently been driving as he could see Joe partially visible on the passenger side. But the dashboard had been pushed back and the roof had been pressed down even past the line of the seats. Joe’s legs were likely crushed and there was no telling if anything had pierced through him. And if it had, it was possible that his body couldn’t push it out so it could heal. He was still out so Nicky returned his attention to Nile and Andy.

As soon as Nicky was looking, Nile launched into more explanation. “We’ve tried to wedge him through to the driver seat to get him out but there isn’t a lot of room and he thinks something might actually be holding his legs in there but he can’t be sure. And the window on the door is too crushed to really get to him.”

“Have you tried going through the backseat?” Andy asked.

“I was about to when you guys showed up.”

“Nile, you go through the window on the driver side and I’ll come in through the rear window. We’ll see if we can get the seat down enough to work him free.”

“Got it.”

Nicky rounded the back of the car and kicked out the back window, the glass already heavily cracked from when the car had rolled. He saw Andy pass by the backdoor through the window and she crouched down next to the door. She started speaking in Greek so Nicky figured Joe was currently awake. Joe liked speaking to them in their native languages but for Andy she had declared when they first met that she’d long forgotten her native language and so he instead went with what her current favorite language was and she’d been favorable of Greek for a long time now.

Nile slid into the car next to Nicky and he peered around the damage to see if he could maneuver the seat enough for Joe to squeeze out of. It looked like he could and so he started reaching around for the lever so he could recline the seat, finding it quickly enough and then he needed to muscle it into releasing. He yanked at the seat back, feeling it gradually give as Nile helped pull on it and he thought he felt pressure from the other side of the seat but he couldn’t say if that was from Andy or Joe pushing on it.

It took some time to get it moved back enough that there was a reasonable gap up to the front seat and Nicky peered around the seat to get a better look at Joe.

He looked extremely uncomfortable and definitely had wounds that weren’t being allowed to heal but he was currently alive and gripping Andy’s hand tightly as they talked back and forth in Greek.

“Yusuf?” Nicky called to his love, being rewarded with Joe’s immediate and complete attention.

“To the rescue once more, Nicolo?” Joe asked with a strained voice.

“Of course. Though you could have let Nile handle it this time around.” Nicky was trying to see around the damage of the vehicle to figure out just what exactly they needed to do to work Joe free. He could see a chunk of metal stabbing into Joe’s stomach but he couldn’t tell if that was all. It at least looked like he’d be able to work it free, that it was only wedged up against the crushed dashboard and wasn’t actually connected to it.

“She already did fantastically during the crash by avoiding most other vehicles. We might have stayed out of it if not for another truck hitting us. And you may be a horrible driver, my love, but at least you know better than to cut off a semi.”

Nicky hated driving and avoided it whenever he could. He’d been responsible for his fair share of accidents to prove it.

“I’m going to try and work that shrapnel free and then we’ll try to get you out through the back,” Nicky explained and Joe nodded before turning his attention back to Andy.

Nicky slid forward so most of his chest was past the seat and he was crowding in against Joe, Joe’s free hand which had been pressing into the roof of the car to relieve some of his weight, shifted around Nicky, the small space allowing him to even rest some of his weight at his head and upper back against Nicky’s shoulder and chest. He reached up for the slab of metal, feeling around the end that wasn’t stabbing into his love’s stomach. He found that it was still somewhat connected to the dashboard but he figured he could work it partially out and then Joe could work himself the rest of the way off of it. And at this angle, Nicky could also see that both of Joe’s legs were just wedged into the dashboard but didn’t seem to actually be pinned there.

“Are you ready to get this out?” Nicky asked, positioning his hands around the edges of the shrapnel so he could feel where it penetrated Joe’s body.

The hand Joe wasn’t gripping Andy’s with went to where Nicky’s were and he took in a deep breath before declaring, “Now.” Nicky followed his lead and yanked it out as far as it would go and then tried to angle it even more, Joe groaning in pain as he twisted further away from it until it finally pulled free and Joe put both hands down on the roof of the car on either side of Nicky to hold himself up.

Nicky dropped his weight back down and then slid himself out from under Joe and out from under the seat to the back so that Joe would have more room to move.

It took some work and quite a few failed attempts for Joe to turn his body and work himself out enough that he could be pulled out of the front seat and through the back and out the back window. When he was out, he leaned against the trunk and stretched back with a weary sigh.

Practically the entire left side of his face and down his shoulder was caked with blood, his shirt was split over now healed skin where the shrapnel had been buried inside him, and both legs had patches of blood and a few splits in the fabric of his pants so it was likely that something had stabbed into his legs as well but it hadn’t been secured in place so his healing could push it out.

He’d looked worse, that was for sure, Nicky noted.

Joe looked up at Nicky, the expression he gave him telling him to come closer and so he did, bringing his hand up to run up through his beard and into his hair in a manner he knew soothed Joe. “That was deeply unpleasant,” Joe noted before looking over at Nile and giving her a smile. “You really did do a fantastic job keeping that from being worse. My compliments to the driver. If I had been driving, it likely would have been worse.” Joe wasn’t a horrible driver but he’d always been upfront in that he preferred flying. He said he didn’t trust other drivers enough to enjoy it.

“Yeah, thanks. So do we just give them an abandoned vehicle to add to the mix?”

“I’ll give Copley a call, let him deal with it,” Andy declared as she moved in close to Joe’s side. “With this much of a mess, I’m sure it’ll be a bit easier than if there were only a few cars.”

Joe grinned. “Maybe he’ll think we’re just doing this to give him a hard time.”

“If anything, this’ll be starting him out easy. Let’s get out of here before people wonder why you’re so covered in blood but okay.”

Joe stood upright and then moved into Nicky’s side, leaning forward to press his face into Nicky’s neck, sliding his arm around Nicky’s shoulders. Anytime Joe had something happen that meant an injury took longer to heal or he was just in pain longer than usual, he seemed to need touch from Nicky to help calm himself and Nicky was happy to oblige. He would accept Andy in a pinch if Nicky wasn't there at the moment but it was really just a means to an end until he had Nicky near to soothe him. And it really comforted them both to be touching. It usually passed by the next day but for the time being they would be remaining in contact.

Andy walked past them, running her own hand through Joe’s hair briefly and the two then fell into step behind her, Nile following behind them.

They were heading back through the woods when Joe turned back toward Nile and said, “I’ll redo your hair once we’ve both cleaned up. It wasn’t ruined but it certainly needs improvement.”

Nile gave him a smile. “You’re not going to become some perfectionist hairdresser, are you?”

“Oh, he hit that a long time ago. He just hasn’t had any of us to take it out on,” Andy said over her shoulder even as she was holding her phone up to her ear. “Don’t underestimate how excited he is that you asked him to help you out with it or how much pride he will take in you liking what he does.”

Joe frowned at Andy’s back. “Admit it: me braiding your hair is the one part you miss about having longer hair.”

“Of course it is.” Andy was teasing him with her condescending tone but she actually wasn’t joking and Joe knew it. “Do we want to get a replacement car? Copley’s asking and we are still planning on sticking around here for another few weeks.”

Just another day in the lives between them taking on missions where they happen to still get hurt, Nicky thought with a roll of his eyes as he let his fingers brush against Joe’s side where his shirt was split, taking comfort in the warm, smooth skin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you liked it. Feel free to drop a kudo or a comment if you feel so inclined. And if you'd like to send a prompt my way, feel free to do that as well.


End file.
